An Escort . . .Me?

So a couple of weeks ago I was asked by a friend to help out at a fashion show in aid of the Irish Guide Dogs for the Blind. Now the cause is a great one and I would do pretty much anything I can to help out a friend, so I agreed to fairly quickly.

My friend was asked as the shop we're getting our suits from for his wedding were donating the use of their dresses. Since I showed up in my utilikilt for my fitting I made an impression and they asked him to see if I’d show off their formal Kilt ware and escort one of the models in the show. A chance to wear a kilt and walk around with a beautiful woman, I told him I’d have to think about . . . for a second! He gave me the details for the night which I made a note of for later.

The night of the show came around and I headed straight from work out to Balbriggan to meet him at the Hotel. After a ride on the LUAS and a quick train ride I made my way to his house as the show was going to be later than we had originally been told. So I got to hang out with his Fiancé and himself for around an hour, talking about the upcoming Wedding and the other things going on in their lives at the moment.

We made our way from his house to the shop to get changed for the Show, and that’s when things started to go wrong. First off once we got into the shop the owner had one look at me and said the formal Kilt they had gotten sent over wouldn’t fit. The one they got in must have been for a midget. The shoes were a size 6 and the jacket sleeves stopped at my elbows. I wouldn’t even risk trying the Kilt on, for fear of castrating myself.

Then we were told that the organisers of the show just wanted to have us standing of to the side of the stage and not really involved at. Also instead of a section of the show featuring all the bridal dresses they only wanted to use her Debs dresses. This was quickly shot down as the Owner pulled the organisers aside and made it clear that the shop was called Balbriggan “Bridal” and she was doing them a favour by giving the use of the dresses.

When we first got there I had performed a quick scan of the models and called dibs on one of the girls who I liked the most. Strictly speaking I really didn't need to since he's engaged and getting married in a fortnight and all but I still followed protocol and declared it, granted I knew nothing would come of it as they all looked like they’d only date guys that looked like a shaved monkey after being kicked through a TopShop.

Anyway we went into the main hall to speak with his Parents and get a quick drink before we were needed. One JD & Coke and a Pint later and we get called to the back to sort out the running order. In the end they had three of the Models in the Brides Dresses and we were to escort them onto the stage flick out their trains as they went on to the stage and escort them back once they had finished.

Of the three Models wearing the Brides Dresses one of them was the girl I had called dibs on. Straight away I was thinking “Bonus!” The organiser says to me (pointing to one of the other Models) “You take her up first, then your friend can take her up (pointing to the one I had called Dibs on) and then you can come back and take me up. All I could think was “But I called Dibs!?”

So I walked out with the first Model, arm in arm left foot forward and all that. Helped her up the steps to the stage and flicked out her train and then escorted her back out of the hall; it went fairly smoothly and as we got back the next couple went out. She took off like a horse out of the gate and ran about five steps ahead of my friend both ways. He was a little put out but all I could think was “Well that's what you get!” And then I set of again with the final Bride. Once we were done we had another chat with his folks and then ran back into the shop to change before heading home. So all in all it was a good night, granted not everything went as planned but in the end I was hanging out with 15 Models,

And why the hell not!?!